BRANDS!!BRANDS!!BRANDS!!

Brands Brands Brands!!!

Before sharing my views on this topic would like to share a small incident about my next door neighbour. She has a daughter of age 13, hmm just entered teens so you can imagine how teens are these days. The other day I was rushing for some work and waiting eagerly for the elevator to come to my floor. I heard the little teenager sobbing and there was a heated argument going over between the mother and daughter. I overheard the girl telling her mom, “You had promised me, mom, you always break your promises.”  Well, it's not good to do hear someones conversation, but we both shared a good rapport and the conversation was alluring. So in spite of getting late thought of sorting it out for her. I was astonished when heard her story. This teen chick wanted a phone, a smart phone which would cost 50000 inr and her mom was offering her another phone with almost same features but an average labelled company which was equally good. So the mother was right I guess here. But she refused to accept any other phone. Phew!!PEER PRESSURE YOU SEE!! All my friends have it, she refused to accept any other brand. I would agree if someone from business class would prefer this phone then there would be a valid reason. It would be more beneficial to him/her considering few extra features. But a school girl is inclined more towards the phone because of its BRAND name.

Breakthrough Brands grow fast, get big sales, and garner headlines. They're companies who had marketing as part of their strategy from the very beginning.

An influencer is an individual who has the power to affect purchase decisions of others because of his/her authority, knowledge, position or relationship with his/her audience.

Lets classify our thoughts -

WHY SHOULD WE USE BRANDS?

1.       Because we get a better quality. For eg., If I am getting a laptop of a renowned brand at almost an equivalent non renowned brand then it is worth it as it is a reputed brand and will ensure superior quality due to its reputation in the market.

2.       Self Esteem: When we wear or possess things of reputed brands it boosts our self-confidence. (although should not be this way every time)

3.       If you really like the design of a particular product I guess then its fair enough to buy that product.

WHY SHOULDN’T WE USE BRANDS?

1.     We wear it to get acknowledged, noticed and appreciated and in return it boosts our confidence in a wrong way. I wore a dress from a renowned brand and then my friend was wearing a no label dress which was more appreciated. So its choice that matters too. Also how well you carry it.

2.     You wear a brand just to flaunt the brand name and burden yourself to put that extra cash.

3.     You buy it just because it’s a brand whether it suits you or not but because you wanna be at par with the people around you.

4.     You go for a brand just because you want people to know that you are rich and possess expensive things.

5.      To display status in society.

…and the list goes on for wrong reasons. In the name of brands, people fool us to any extent.  As long as we are buying brands for right reasons it's perfectly fine. But most of the time we possess brands for wrong reasons and we constantly pressurise ourselves to burn out the extra cash. We are ready to pay a higher amount even to the first copy of any brand as long as it displaying the brand name. It's insane!! Let's grow up!! We are fooling our own self with an illusion of using the original brand.

Can I say that most of the times we prefer brands to get a superiority feeling or rather to make someone feel inferior? Who says people look up to you only when you posses branded stuff. Yes may be for first two instances and later on, as they get to know you closely they will definitely change their opinions irrespective of whether we are using the costliest brand. If you think people will respect and judge you only if you use brands then ideally we don’t need such people who choose materialistic things over intellectual. Our feelings and identities have a great influence on which brands we choose.

We waste so much money just for a simple white shirt just because down there is the small logo of the brand which we proudly flaunt and ensure it is visible to others. Unknowingly by wearing brands we are endorsing and promoting it at no cost. So when we summarise 90 percent of the time we prefer brands to boost our confidence basically to get a feel good factor. Its ok to do something which makes us happy. But imagine god forbid if there would be no brands in future....then? Poor self esteem? This should not happen. Self-confidence does not come from BRANDS and if it's coming from brands for you trust me it will be temporary and will definitely not last longer. The challenge is to wear something ordinary and still look extra ordinary. In this way we are setting a wrong example for our kids actually misleading them. And children are the future of tomorrow, hence spoiling future.

Murray, a consumer psychologist in New York, fMRIs show that consumers evaluate brands mostly based on emotions rather than information or facts about the brand.

Confidence comes from brands

Confidence comes from being who you are, taking steps to achieve your goal, helping the needy, being kind, apologising and learning from your mistakes and above all being a good human.

Practical :

Try being an amazing person at least for a week(if you are a brand freak) without possessing any brand. Trust me you will feel incredible and much more confident.

No Offence against any brand.

Why should I say SORRY!!

We stay in a world where people are self-centered, egocentric, self-absorbed and self-indulgent.A couple of decades ago people use to value relationships. Let us go a little into flashback mode. I have never seen my parents fights getting on till the next hour forget next day. They use to never scream and fight, unlike these days we do.  It was a set rule in our house that we should go to bed leaving all our grudges behind irrespective of who is at fault both should apologize to each other and trust me it worked.

Why is it so difficult to apologize? Is it really tough? I thought it’s the best way to make things normal again. It is just like keyword “UNDO” then why it is so difficult?

Today’s story is about mother and daughter’s relationship. When I was 22 I was working in a bank Monday to Friday 9 to 5.30. But never left office by 5.30. I use to reach home by 8 – 8.30pm. After that, I had no energy left to do any other task. I had never entered kitchen since there was no time during the weekdays and weekends I use to hangout with friends, shopping etc. My Mom always wanted us to be independent. This went on for another year. 

After that, the so called society started pressurizing my parents for getting me hooked up that’s marriage. Then my Mom realized that I need to learn cooking and household chores too. So we had decided that on weekends I will take the charge. My Mom is a perfectionist and wanted me to be the same. I learned many dishes from her and the most awful thing to do was clear up the mess after cooking. I was pretty enjoying as well as she happily mentoring. Everyday is not a Sunday and then one day while cooking she criticized me for every small thing because she wanted me to learn the way she did which really annoyed me. In an unpleasant voice, I said “Stop comparing yourself to me” and I left from there. I sat in the room and I cried a lot for 2 reasons:  1.Because of negative comments of my mom. 2. Because I lost my temper.

After a couple of hours, she came inside my room and told me to come for lunch. She pretended to be fine, but she was not, I could feel it, she was hurt. I Told her I was not hungry. She insisted that I should have lunch. Further without any discussion, I went ahead. She was as usual, offering me and forcing me to have whatever I like. I was dying of guilt. I went in the room to sleep. Somehow couldn’t sleep, there was a strange feeling of discomfort, guilt, I don’t know what was it. 

My inner voice told me “I need to talk”. I thought for a couple of minutes. I knew it was my fault. But something stopped me from apologizing. What was that? My big fat ego. So I was satisfying my ego. But even after that, I was not happy, that means something is going wrong. Then with great efforts and courage, I decided to go and talk to my mom. I went in her room, she too was trying to sleep, but couldn’t I guess. 

In a very low tone, I said "Mama" She immediately woke up and sat. I sat next to her and couldn’t still say anything again My Big FAT EGO!. My Mom understood why I was there. She stared at me, gave me a warm hug and then the tears rolled out and finally articulated "SORRY MOM, I LOVE YOU". I was extremely embarrassed for my behavior and was speechless. I couldn’t let her go off my arms. That guilt was killing me and I couldn’t stop crying. It is really difficult to overcome the feeling of a guilt.

We choose our ego over our relationships and at the end, it is our loss. We fail to retain an important person in our life for a silly reason. It takes ages to build a strong relation and not even a minute to break it. We need to follow the rule “LET GO”. It is not easy but once you start practicing this rule you will attain inner peace which will make you follow the rule over and over again. 

I have seen even kids refrain themselves from using these golden words (PLEASE SORRY THANK YOU). What is stopping them from using it? Apparently, the environment OR the parents too do not practice these words. With kids, it is always the preach and practice which works. They will never follow your preachings if you are not following it. They are very smart in imitating. Ego is your enemy. It only destroys you, so leave it before it is too late.

Practical :

1.       Take the first step in a difficult situation to use any of the golden words. Try out, You will definitely come out as a better human.

Please post your views and comments below.

This is not a lady’s cup of tea!!

Before I start “Wishing all the beautiful and gorgeous ladies - Happy Women’s Day!!”

Also, would admit something - 

Like without a villain there is no existence of a hero and vice-versa  same way without  women there is no existence of men and again VICEVERSA

We have been talking a lot about Gender Equality, especially on social media perhaps on all social platforms. Have seen many celebrities too supporting this cause. And above all women empowerment is also considered as a human right issue. Women are not given rights to education, freedom, etc. We have discussed it enough globally. But not on these lines today!

I would like to narrate a small story to prove my point. We had an invite from my husband’s colleague who is a renowned, highly qualified and an established lawyer.  We have been associated with him professionally for over 2 decades and decided to move a step ahead with our association and hence accepted the invitation. 

We reached there at sharp 7.30pm. It was a big joint family and indeed a warm welcome. We were seated in the drawing room with other family members.  We were meeting the family for the first time. Mr. lawyer told his wife to take me inside, but I insisted her sitting with us, but to this Mr. lawyer retorted “She is not interested in business, pretty occupied in her kitchen.” My eyes caught Mrs lawyer’s expression full of discomfort. 

Later we headed towards the dinner table, where I was expecting all of us to have dinner together. Mr. Lawyer instructed his better half to take me inside as the men will eat first and then the ladies. I didn’t have a choice. So I sat in other room with all ladies, felt like a major gender discrimination happening there. Did not get much chance to communicate with Mrs lawyer because she was occupied in the kitchen chores.

I was zapped when I heard her educational qualification. Master of Arts!!. Although she looked pretty happy not those “ablaa naari” types and also no regret types. Then was the turn for all the women to have dinner and that’s the time we chatted a lot.

I really enjoyed chatting with Mrs lawyer. She seemed to be a very enthusiastic lady, kind and grounded. At the same time, I found her extremely efficient in her work. She had a lot of potential apart from the work she was persuading. Here I don’t mean that doing kitchen work is something below dignity, on the contrary, I strongly give credence to homemakers who are doing a thankless job in spite of having an ability to do much more than that.

I understand that we grow up in a certain environment and unknowingly tend to follow the same footsteps of our parents or rather grandparents. Mr. Lawyer didn’t do any injustice to Mrs lawyer, they were happily married. But basic equality factor was missing and that’s something which made me cheerless. Nevertheless, don't want to talk about the major injustice done to women or women rights. But here a realization comes, that to understand gender inequality we need to be educated.  I know educated people will not abuse his women, but here the agenda is not of that level.  And in spite of being educated, if we don’t accept modernization, I guess there is no value to the so called education. Gender Equality is a social issue which should come as a revolution and the revolution will occur only if we are educated. I have seen so many families where husbands share equal responsibilities of home and kids, which gives each and every member of the family a feeling of togetherness.

I have seen so many working women manage their home and kids alone, I sincerely salute them. Ask yourself how many times you have said to her “Please stay out of it, it is not your cup of tea” and same goes to wives also whose husbands have tried to help them.

There should be an equal privilege for both genders. This will definitely set an example for our kids i.e. coming generation which will make a better society and a better nation as a whole.

Practical

Small things men can do

Involve your wife in your business.

Discuss major issues with her.

Ask her opinion where major decisions are taken.

Share responsibilities of kids.

Respect

Few things women can do

Help your husband in managing his day.

Research and give him different plans for savings.

Plan a holiday at a lower cost than he has.

Understand when your husband comes late from office and try to share his load.

Try to be independent.

Respect

These are few things which we all can do to take a step ahead.

Please post your views and comments below.

“Ï loved him so much….how can he dump me?”

Being a Mom and a full-time homemaker a lot of activities during the day comprise of pick up and drop from school, grocery, etc. On a Wednesday afternoon, since my daughter had direct coaching after school hours had to carry snacks for her and drop her. I was feeling a bit lethargic that day so thought of picking up something to eat from out. 

Perhaps headed towards her favorite French fries shop and ordered the stuff. It was jam-packed, so had no choice than to queue up. But I was having a great time waiting for my turn. The joint was filled extensively with young boys and girls from the nearby institute. I guess they were celebrating something, this is what I presumed after scrutinizing them. All overwhelmed young boys and girls wearing red color clothes having red, yellow roses in their hands. 

They all were having a great time and it reminded me of my college days!! I said to myself “Kya din the yaar”. Indeed it made me feel a little older. All were standing in small groups and laughing and giggling and having the best time of their life. In a corner, I noticed that there were at least 15 to 20 students who had surrounded one chic. They all didn’t look fine, something was wrong. That chic in the center crying, actually howling and all others consoling her. 

I really wanted to know what went wrong and if I could help her. I overheard the conversation that the boy ditched this girl and that’s why she was so upset that she didn’t want to live. She wanted to end her life. My legs trembled with fear. END LIFE???

How can one think to end life? Especially a teenager!!

It is difficult to handle rejections. Rejections and acceptance are part of life. But this is being faced by all age groups and gender. Not only college students, I have seen so many husbands and wives having a virtue that their spouse doesn't love him or her anymore. So they don’t want to be in a relation. People working in corporates also face it. School going kids come home and complain my friends are not allowing me to be a part of the team. Not selected in Cricket Team!!  Should it affect us so much? 

My question is why do we live for people’s acceptance?? Why can’t we be patient and actually evaluate the whole thing and then jump to a conclusion? Why can’t we be practical enough to understand that we aren’t designed to fit in that space or try understanding others perception? We have to prepare our mind to be a little tough from the beginning that “what is meant for us will be with us”, let it be a friend, relative or a life partner, etc.

The only two possibilities of any outcomes are Positive and Negative. We are optimistic people, we don't want to even get surrounded with any kind of negativity. So let us hook up to the positive side.

REJECTION IS an OPPORTUNITY

Rejection hits our self-esteem, but if we take it as a healthy criticism and figure out what are your weaknesses and start working on it then it would be a blessing in disguise. Take it as a challenge not for anyone but for your own self, to be a better human being.

Do you really think this is the end or are you trying to just terrorize yourself for the rest of your life with the rejection tag? If yes then how long? Do you want to lead a distressed life forever? For just a silly thing.

The answer is NO!!! Life is beautiful. Live with utmost happiness and in a way that people envy you. Set an example for others. Be focus. Who does not struggle in life? It is a step forward for Success. Do not ruin your life for someone who is not deserving.

DON’T FORGET NOTHING IN LIFE IS PERMANENT!!!

Few Tips to overcome rejection:

1.       Accept the rejection.

2.       Don’t take it too personally.

3.       Express your grievances to someone trustworthy.

4.       Do not stretch it too much, get back to work, move on.

5.       Use it as an opportunity to overcome your weaknesses.

6.       Don’t seek sympathy, be strong and practical.

7.       Proving them wrong and making them regret should be your new challenge without being further revengeful

Practical: The moment you feel dejected write down on a piece of paper your 5 strengths and any one achievement.(It can be the smallest one and don’t be disheartened if there is none.)

Please post your views and comments below.

I know someone who is 100 percent perfect!!

After a heated week when on a Thursday we are heading towards the weekend, there are so many plans running in our mind. I usually plan in advance the weekends, at least for my daughter. This time I wanted her to concentrate little more on studies and extra educational activities.

As soon as she came back home on Friday with a sigh of relief and glee to look forward to a wonderful weekend, she asked me “Mom what's the plan?” I explained to her what she had to do since she had scored few marks less as in 18/20. So I wanted her to get rid of silly mistakes and get 20/20 knowing her abilities. She was disappointed. 

Being an obedient child, she didn’t deny to what I said but could see something that was unpleasant on her face. She went to her room and started doing as I had directed. I was full of guilt and couldn’t see her dejected. I tried justifying myself, the usual mom talks like it's for your betterment and stuff. “Ï want you to be the best” I expressed to motivate her.

After listening to my so-called motivational speech she just told me a sentence “Mom Why are we never satisfied? Why do we always expect people to be perfect?  I know someone who is perfect!!  To this, I immediately appealed “Who is that?” She mournfully replied “GOD and I know no one can be like him.” I was speechless. For a moment I didn’t know how and what to react. I embraced her in my arms for a moment and told her to do what she wants. She smiled delightfully and was glad that I tried to perceive her thoughts.

Sometimes we learn so many things from kids. After a while,  I started analyzing what she said. We expect so many things from our friends, relatives, children, spouse and most of the time they try to accomplish our expectations. But the moment we get one negative response we change our perception towards that person and forget the times when they did what we wanted. 

Why are we so self-centered? Why can’t we put ourselves in others shoe and try to understand at least once? Why can't we think that they have always obliged us, so what if they have failed once? Do we always do what others like? The answer is No! Very conveniently we blurt out that I can’t do it.

In the pursuit of expecting things to be the way we want, we build an ego and are at the risk of losing a precious relationship. One needs to be content at some point. We should not keep craving for things all the time. A tree nurtures a fruit or a flower without any expectations. Our parents have raised us by giving all the possible things we deserved without even making us feel obliged.

Let's pledge to ourselves to own the mantra of “BE CONTENT”. It will help us in all aspects, all relations, because no one is perfect.

PRACTICAL LESSON

Let us today take one simple resolution “BE CONTENT” and see how does it change our relations.

For eg: My closed ones are my mom, daughter, and husband.

One thing which I will not expect from each of them.

1.      Mom: I expect her to call me everyday but from now I will do the needful and make her feel that I  too can do it.

2.       Daughter: It is already mentioned above.

3.       Husband: Will not expect him to come with me for shopping all the time. (although very simple, but can try)

Small positive steps will surely help us in building a strong relationship. Please be patient with your resolution and I am sure the results will be magical.

Please post your views and comments below. Also, share what resolution are you going to take for your loved ones and how did it help.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.

As usual, Monday mornings are tiresome.Perhaps have to mentally as well as physically pick up ourselves from the bed and get back to work. We had dinner at a friends house previous night.

It was a private party with only the near and dear ones.  It was a seven-course meal spread, with a taste of “ghar ka khaana” not the catering one and a large house with an excellent décor. All the possible things you could think of were served by neatly dressed uniformed waiters. I am a type of a person who prefers house party and was curious to know how my friend arranged all this and wanted to definitely take down reference which would help me in future. 

My curiosity increased when I saw an old lady inside the kitchen area managing all these activities. She was pretty old, with a sparkle in her eyes, white crown with hardly any black strands left, a saree which she carried gracefully, and wore a beautiful smile on her face.

I was a bit furious about my friend thinking that how she can she hire someone who is so old to do household chores. Couldn’t control my inquisitiveness and just went to her and abruptly asked her “Can you give me the reference of this catering” She replied “Of course! Give me a moment!” hurried with her work. To this, I again interrupted her, this time fiercely “Who is this old lady?” She replied, “Well she is the one you are looking for.” Me: “What do you mean?” She said “Catering lady, sweetheart”. I was in a state of shock, that how an old lady could handle such mouth-watering cuisine. None of the dishes were Indian, the meal had Italian and Chinese dishes. For another half an hour I couldn’t interact with others.

Looking at me my friend understood what was troubling me. She took me inside in another room, where she narrated the whole story to me. That old lady was the wife of her driver who passed away 6 months back. His son refused to take her responsibilities. My friend decided to keep her at her house and give food and shelter since her husband had served their family for ages with complete loyalty and honesty. But this dignified lady didn’t want to get anything as a favor so she requested to let her take care of the cooking chores since cooking was her forte. Living in this modern age very soon she realized that just Indian food was not what we were looking up to, and with her full enthusiasm she started learning Italian and Chinese dishes.

It was so motivating to see a lady who is not so educated but still have that fire of self-respect and being independent and start something new at the age of 65. I realized that most of the times we underestimate ourselves. There is something unique in each one of us. We just need to know ourselves rather than understanding the whole world. Why be dependent, when you have the opportunity to be independent. Independence does not bring attitude it makes a person grounded. So before we give up on something, try at least twice not to give up. Take your work as a challenge. There is no value to success without failure. So Keep trying!! Don't Stop!!

Please share your views and post your comments below.